Unofficial Friends of Bill W. & Doctor Bob
Letting HIM
Step Three has always been the HARDEST step for me, one which I have to LET HIM take over. Prior to getting sober, I had a problem w/ trust. In some ways , I still do. So trusting in my Higher Power , the God of My Understanding , to take my life and put it into HIS hands and TRUSTING ABSOLUTELY that He will put me where He needs me most scared me.
I grew up in a Catholic household, was an altar boy, prayed the Rosary, etc., and saw that nothing was changing in my life. I was miserable and isolated almost all of the time, so I blamed God for my screwy existence. In college, I doubted God and, later in life, paid lip service to God because I was dissapointed in what I believed was His eventual dismissal of me( I laugh now at this INSANE thought).
I remember when I came to this step in the program and had a hard time with the God of my understanding, a friend in the program came to me and asked what was wrong. I told him and then he asked what was then a funny question at the time- "What did you do before you stepped through the door on your 1st day?" I told him that I asked God that if this is what I need to do to stop drinking then I would do it. My friend replied "That's GOD for you, the God you had when you got here and the one that is keeping you sober now." Then it hit me!!! I was too busy complicating it all with the religion I knew , rather than acknowledging GOD as He was there when he answered my prayers!!! He has kept me sober since.
This has not been easy, especially when dealing w/ a control freak who (at times) still wants to give God a laugh and say "I've Got it." Every time I have done this , though , I learn that I get crazy, uncentered , ill at ease and irritable. I finally pray to God and thank him for another day and to grant me peace of mind to be receptive to Him and to help others. I just have to LET HIM.
I grew up in a Catholic household, was an altar boy, prayed the Rosary, etc., and saw that nothing was changing in my life. I was miserable and isolated almost all of the time, so I blamed God for my screwy existence. In college, I doubted God and, later in life, paid lip service to God because I was dissapointed in what I believed was His eventual dismissal of me( I laugh now at this INSANE thought).
I remember when I came to this step in the program and had a hard time with the God of my understanding, a friend in the program came to me and asked what was wrong. I told him and then he asked what was then a funny question at the time- "What did you do before you stepped through the door on your 1st day?" I told him that I asked God that if this is what I need to do to stop drinking then I would do it. My friend replied "That's GOD for you, the God you had when you got here and the one that is keeping you sober now." Then it hit me!!! I was too busy complicating it all with the religion I knew , rather than acknowledging GOD as He was there when he answered my prayers!!! He has kept me sober since.
This has not been easy, especially when dealing w/ a control freak who (at times) still wants to give God a laugh and say "I've Got it." Every time I have done this , though , I learn that I get crazy, uncentered , ill at ease and irritable. I finally pray to God and thank him for another day and to grant me peace of mind to be receptive to Him and to help others. I just have to LET HIM.
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